It was my dad's 70th birthday. All his children showed up from all the many locations to help him celebrate this event.
It is interesting to listen to each of my brothers and sisters share their experience of my father, how he was with them as children and what he did to support and make them feel loved. I rea;ized that being a parent is a transitional thing...in a very big way, and the fact that I feel like I am better at it now than I was then...well that is because I probably am...and that is not anything I can control. The fact that my youngest children have a different experience is not something I need to feel so guilty about...it is that way and I can not go back and make it even unless I stay stunted and don't grow...
It was a good lesson...
I still feel compelled to apologize to my kids for my shortcomings as a mom...I wish I could have known then what i know now...wish time could be turned back and I got a do over...I would let Sean play football even though he had grades that made me frustrated...cause when I let Christian I found out how much he wanted it. I would ABSOLUTELY buy more milk...and hair gel. I would worry less about the day to day and focus on the big picture...
I was at Branden's after Christmas and he was upset that I had gotten the kids cell phones, he was upset about that when I got Lauren one too...Branden never got a cell phone, I remember feeling really sad about his feelings that day.
Branden has a cell phone now. I did not get it for him, vut he has it and he got it for himelf...and that is a great thing, isn;t it. He also had the experience to have younger brothers and sisters and he got to be the big brother...like I got to be the big sister...and that is an ecperience that not everyone has
I did not have my dad as a child much, he learned how important that is from ecperience...probably from his experience with me...as I learned from choices and outcomes with my older children...
It is part of the process and part of the plan and everyone in the family gets a gift, it is not the same gift...but when we are getting and giving gifts they too are different for each person...
Glad I feel better about that...
I do try to support my children now and let them know how important they all are...equally...
Love to each of you...
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1 comment:
I really enjoyed reading your comments Sherry. Thanks for sharing. And, it looks as though everyone had a really wonderful time with Grandpa. That was cool to have done what they did for him.
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